Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
