thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
