Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
