I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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