spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm at about main and main street
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
