i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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