My boss' voice literally gives me gas
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You left your phone here
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