super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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