Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
