Are we in a gay sports bar?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
