You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize