my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
