She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
