That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
