no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
