oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
