ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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