Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
