Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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