Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
