dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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