Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
