we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
