I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
