...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
