I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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