fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
