I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
