why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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