This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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