Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
