I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
