Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
