I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
