Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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