Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
