She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
