didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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