We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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