If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
