thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
