No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
They are going to name an STD after you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
