is wine microwaveable?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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