I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
