i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
