i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
