i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
