im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
