Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
