Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
