i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
