that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Two words: nipple clamps
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