So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize