i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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