I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
