Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize